I could make a lot of excuses for my absence, tell my life story or give a laundry list of accomplishments. But I won’t. Honestly, you don’t want/need to know, and I don’t want to waste time thinking or writing about it.
In a society where being busy is praised, but showing that you are stressed is looked down upon – I’ve finally thrown in the towel. I’m at the point where I am openly saying no and admitting that I have reached a state of overwhelm. Admitting it to others, really, because I had been trying so hard to not admit it to myself for months. It was somehow easier to allow myself to accept that I have limits if I told others that I did.
All that being said – I’ve mentioned time and time again that Fall is my favorite season. Apple picking, sipping wine outside at my favorite vineyard while M runs around, watching football with my parents on a Sunday afternoon, Halloween. Fiber Festival Season. Every part of it makes me happy. But honestly, it also adds to the stress. Needing to make all the apple things before the apples rot, driving two hours each way to get far enough out into the country to feel like I’m really appreciating Fall, and traveling to and from festivals.
This weekend is the Shenandoah Valley Fiber Festival. When M woke up this morning (after actually sleeping in!), she was on me about leaving the house and doing something. Meanwhile, I was sitting on my craft room floor soaking in the fact we had NOTHING scheduled for this weekend. Planning to savor every unplanned moment of the day. And I felt guilty about it. I hadn’t told her that there was a festival this weekend because I knew she would want to go. She loves festivals and she’s already “mad” at me about going to Rhinebeck without her again…
I slowly weighed my options. It’s not like I wouldn’t enjoy the festival – I enjoy most of them and this one is pleasantly small and much less crowded. But it’s over an hour away, with traffic likely two. It was late morning and (we’re being real here) I hadn’t even showered. The idea of rushing around to get ready so we could get there at a reasonable time was stressful. I carefully chose my words and told her about the festival. She asked if there would only be fiber there. I honestly relayed the details. She thankfully declined once I told her the distance and the length of the drive.
Instead, she asked for me to get her “Box of Projects” out of the craft room closet and she disappeared for another hour working on her own crafts. We’ve since spent a lovely day crafting, making waffles together, butterfly watching (our three butterfly bushes out our front window are still blooming), and just breathing. One of the many benefits to parenting – having a child who can read you and your needs sometimes, and understanding that sometimes, even moms need a break!
I hope you all are having an amazing start to your Fall! But I also hope you are finding ways to slow down and take some time for yourself, too!
a singular knitter 